I miss my best friend. ~

I miss what we used to be.  I miss our long, lesbian conversations.  I miss telling you how much I hated you.  I miss you telling me to die, and then taking it back.  I miss how we never went a day without talking.  I miss telling you everything.  I miss crying to you.  I miss arguing over little things with you.  I miss what we used to be.

I hate how we never talk anymore.  I hate how I feel like I can’t come to you with anything.  I hate how when we do talk it’s shallow conversation, and not what I want it to be.  I hate how I’m afraid to talk to you anymore.  I hate how I feel like you don’t want me in your life anymore.  I hate how we aren’t how we used to be.  I hate how we don’t confide in each other anymore.

I love how you used to always be there for me.  I love how you used to always make me laugh.  I love how you used to always know just what to say to make me feel better.  I love how you’re the one that never left my side.  I love how you’re the one that I talked to whenever something went wrong.

I miss you. I hate how I never tell you anything anymore.  I love you.
And even though I’m certain I’ve lost you as my best friend, you’ll always be the friend that I love most.